And whoever told you it’s bitchy to have boundaries may need to surrender their backstage pass.
Okay, so what if no one really never actually said that to you exactly, but you still feel like it’s rude, unkind, mean, or it feels . . . Ooooooooo–just really uncomfortable to set boundaries with people. I mean, after all, everyone wants to be liked, right? And, no one really likes the feeling they get when the have to defend their right to personal boundaries to a front row full of people. Let me be clear, not everyone in your “front row” is a problem. Your front row may be full of people who are really glad to be there and you are genuinely glad they are and you’re both happy to be showing up for each other. What I want to address with you here are the hecklers.
And, to be clear no one in any audience likes a heckler.
Because the only thing a heckler is there to do is make the person on stage feel uncomfortable up there on stage. Maybe the heckler paid a little bit of money to get into a show, maybe they bought a discount ticket–or maybe someone handed it to them for free out on the street. No matter how they got their mitts on a good ticket, they are there for one thing–to ruin the show for the star on stage, who by the way, is only up there doing their best to deliver their best star-quality performance and to love and appreciate the audience right back.
The heckler? He’s there to steal the spotlight just enough to frustrate or humiliate you to such a depth that you run off the stage before you start crying in front of everyone–while he waits for you out on the street beside the backstage door for an autograph.
Let’s be clear.
The hecklers and the fruit-throwers are there because they want to be there. They throw their fruit because they can, and clearly, have decided they have nothing more productive to do in their own lives except making a nuisance of themselves. If they realized they had more to offer the world than unproductive, disrespectful, and destructive criticism, they might be a shining star, too.
Just like you.
It’s hard to know that so many women find themselves wanting to run off their own life’s stage to hunker down in the back broom closets hiding their head under a floppy rag mop just to avoid the people sitting in their front row.
Consider this your friendly knock on the door.
I’ve got something for you. It’s the beginning lesson for the Boundary Map™ I developed to help you change your mindset about your own personal (and professional) life boundaries. It’s the easiest and fastest way to start recognizing who the hecklers are and how to start the BYOB (Be Your Own Bouncer) process without feeling like you’re being a bitch . . . because I don’t think you are a bitch, I think you’re just trying to shine.
And that’s exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.
If you think you need to have better boundaries, you’re probably right. And because boundaries can be hard to navigate, I created a little quick-start tool for you and you can get it right here:
Boundary Map™ Big-6 Check Yourself OutChecklist here. It helps A LOT.
For each time the Truth seemed to hurt
For each time compassion met you at the depth of your pain.
For every sacred moment you recognize in real time.
My story might be your medicine, and your story might be mine.
There’s more for you, Truthfairy.